Sodium Levels Among Junior Class Rise: Are Sophomores to Blame?

Recent studies have shown that the sodium levels among the Junior class have risen significantly. While doctors haven't pinpointed the exact cause of such salt, they are suspecting it's due to the Sophomore class. Many believe the Juniors are realizing that they are past their prime and the Seniors are "Upgrading to a newer model" as one LC Senior puts it. When asked to comment about the Sophomores, one 'Faboulous' LC Junior stated "Like I don't even care, they're so irrelevant. Like Bye?" She later added "Like I'm just trying to turn up tonight" as she walked away. Though the Junior class refuses to acknowledge the amount of salt being thrown around, Twitter shows a different opinion. Tweets such as "I feel like I'm watching 50 Shades of Salt" and "There's more salt on twitter than the school lunches" show that the presence of salt is high and rising among the Junior class. We asked some Senior girls what their cure for the rising sodium would be, since they experienced similar obstacles last year. One Senior told LC Onion News that the Juniors girls need to "grow up" though this was said reluctantly because "we're leaving this hell-hole in three months anyways."