White Boy Raps About Another White Boy, Who Is The Real Loser?

Lake Central senior, Jorey Dimopolous, demonstrates why the rap game is still reserved to African Americans with his new "Sausage Remix" about LC sophomore Brad Loden.

Fellow senior James Mays released the hot new mix bashing Loden Wednesday afternoon on his Twitter account. The thirty second dis track consisted of lines such as "Cheer is a sport and my name is," with the rest of the LC baseball team shouting "BRADLEY," in response. Though funny and quick witted, the success of this particular rap will not make people forget about the atrocities Dimopolous dropped under the alias of "AlMightyJury." Though Jorey's peers thought that the raps were barbaric, they received critical acclaim by current rap sensations such as Chief Keef, Lil Durk, and even Andy Milonakis.  LC Onion researchers looked for the original songs, but soon realized that he made the infinitely wise decision to delete the links and destroy all evidence of these songs ever existing.

Many praised the new "Sausage Remix" but others believed it was much too easy. "Jorey really didn't push himself on this one," claims one LC junior. "Brad is too easy of a target. There is so much material to work with, the rap almost wrote itself," he continued. We asked Dimopolous where his inspirations for writing such a degrading rap came from. He replied, "you know, I basically just took a couple of his tweets and added 'they call me' to the end of them. His tweets are embarrassing enough, Brad really did the heavy lifting for me. I just had to add in the bit about him being curved and I knew I had an instant hit."

While both parties of this Twitter beef have their pros and cons, most students have agreed on the who real loser in this whole situation was: Munster. Munster baseball player, Connor Manous released a similar remix approximately an hour after Mays did on Wednesday. All who watched the poorly prepared video were instantly hit with the lack of sagacity that the Munster sports team had presented. "I didn't know this beforehand, but I completely forgot that these were supposed to be funny," said Manous. "We were hoping the neanderthal dancing in the background and the poor beat would distract people from the fact that we repeated the line 'bangs on the daily' but I'm not sure if it did the trick," he added.